i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
