I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
