there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize