he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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