Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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