Pants 0. Shit 1.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I look better un-naked...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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