ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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