By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
