found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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