OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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