You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
