Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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