you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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