If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
