quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
