i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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