Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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