Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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