Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
