Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
