office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
