I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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