would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
