i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My liver just had a heart attack.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
