direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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