I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
