he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Randomize
