Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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