2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
