I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize