After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
should my penis look like a turkey
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Randomize
