you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
