ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
