Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
