M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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