1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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