But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
