I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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