can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
