I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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