a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
