I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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