I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize