I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i've created a new STD.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
