My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
