you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
only you would photoshop your dick
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
