So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
