the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
love makes seman taste better
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
