Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
