Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
What drink are we having for lunch?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
