Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Randomize
