I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
