yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
