We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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