She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
