You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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